We find most basic sex books provide too little information that is often outdated, and treat the readers as if they are trying not to frighten them with this scary sex stuff by treading lightly on the subject. There are not many general sex books we like. We now add this to our recommendations of The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex and The Guide to Getting it On.  

It seems like some of the best sex books are written by people who once worked selling sex products. As we've learned from our own experience, the feedback you get from customers is amazingly educational. You begin to learn about sexuality the way real people experience it. Tristan is no exception, as before becoming a noted sex columnist, author, and educator, she worked at New York's Toys in Babeland, helping customers pick out vibrators, lubes, and other sex products.

The book starts out with a chapter on anatomy and orgasm. The author points out that a great deal is known about male sexual anatomy, but we have started to seriously study female sexual anatomy only recently. Even today, there are "experts" who debate whether there really is a G-Spot or female ejaculation. Sadly, these experts have more theoretical knowledge of women than any hands on experience. Included in sexual anatomy is the anus, something often left out of this type of discussion. She also teaches about the PC muscle and how to exercise it. 

In the next chapter, she discusses dirty talk and sexual communication. It also includes a section on how to discuss safer sex with a partner. We do feel she might have clarified that her position on classifying oral sex as a risky activity and on using condoms for oral sex is not agreed upon by all experts. I know of no all condom adult films who bother to use them for oral sex (and the actors would really hate this), the scientific data seems to show that it is not a high risk activity, and most people won't do it as it is annoying and not very pleasurable. There are those who adhere to using condoms and dental dams for oral sex, but they are very much in the minority. The description of the different types of condoms and what they are best used for is quite good.

Chapter 3 goes into doing hand jobs and oral sex. It does not go into great detail or provide any great new ideas, but it covers the basic ground adequately and is a very good introduction to the subject.

As you might expect with her background, the next chapter on toys is quite strong. It effectively describes the most popular items and how to use them, and also has a very good section on sexual lubricants.

Chapter 5 also does an excellent job of covering female ejaculation and the G-Spot. This is where Tristan's experience both as a sexual explorer and as an educator and filmmaker, where she has had the opportunity to witness a lot of people having sex, really comes into play. Actual observation and first hand experience is important in understanding how women's bodies really react and function, and you need experience with a wide variety of women before you can begin to generalize. 

Tristan's first book was The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and her chapter here on anal sex is terrific. There is lots of useful information that those with an interest (and those who may not have been interested because they simply did not have enough information) will find very helpful.

Chapter 7 covers fantasies and how to share them and act out play fantasies with a lover. She also briefly discusses polyamory and non-monogamy in a fairly open-minded way. 

The next chapter delves into porn, both the written and the visual kind, and the perceived difference between it and erotica. She has really strong coverage of the current state of adult videos and how to incorporate them into your sex life. 

Finally, she provides a solid overview of BDSM practices. This is a very good introduction to the basics, and she suggests several excellent resources to get more information.

Tristan is sex positive, open minded, and with a lot of real world sexual experience and observation. That puts her head and shoulders above many therapists and psychologists who write about sex with more theory than direct knowledge. If you are looking for a general book on sexuality that covers more of the diversity and pragmatic real world aspects of human sexuality, this is well worth adding to your library.
 

-JB

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